“We don’t allow faster than light neutrinos in here” says the bartender.
A neutrino walks into a bar.

A Christian charity has been dropped by AdviceUK for offering to pray for people in debt. Just how behind the times are these Christian people? You don’t pray for causes anymore, you just ask everyone to post a status update on Facebook. It’s so much more public, and with none of that embarrassing religious connotation. LIC is the future!

Speaking of which, I saw my very first “I am 6 weeks and craving Twizzlers” status today. Sigh.

The ‘raising awareness by posting a stupid Facebook status’ monster rears its ugly head again, and by an interesting (if predictable) gravity-fed compensating mechanism this is causing my heart to sink.

I just came across this scintillating piece of literature:

Following our last Facebook trend alert “why are women putting inches in their status?” [explanation: you needed to write your shoe size – just the number- followed by the word ‘inches’ and how long it takes to do your hair… har har], we’re bringing you another one. With October aka Breast Cancer Awareness Month right around the corner the ladies of Facebook have decided on a new game to play with male minds. The newest Facebook trend is weeks and cravings.

You may see women posting something like, “I’m 4 weeks and craving skittles” or “I’m 13 weeks and craving gummy worms”. Why are women posting weeks in their Facebook status? And why are women posting something that sounds like they’re pregnant on Facebook? Here’s the email I received about the game:

Ok pretty ladies, it’s that time of year again, in support of breast cancer awareness!! So we all remember last years game of writing your bra color as your status?…..or the way we like to have our handbag handy? Remember last year so many people took part that it made national news and, the constant updating of status reminded everyone why we’re doing this and helped raise awareness!! Do NOT tell any males what the status’ mean, keep them guessing!! And please copy and paste (in a message )this to all your female friends to see if we can make a bigger fuss this year than last year!!! I did my part… now YOUR turn ! Go on ladies…and let’s have all the males guessing! .. It’s time to confuse the men again (not that its really that hard to do 🙂 ) Everyone knows it makes their brains work wonders on what we’re talking about!!

The idea is to choose the month you were born and the day you were born. Pass this on to the girls only and lets see how far it reaches around. The last one about the bra went round all over the world. So you’ll write… I’m (your birth month) weeks and I’m craving (your birth date)!!! as your status. Example: Feb 14th is: I’m 2 weeks and craving Chocolate mints!!

Months

January – 1 week

Febuary – 2 weeks

March – 3 weeks

April – 4 weeks

May – 6 weeks

June – 8 weeks

July – 10 weeks

August – 12 weeks

September – 13 weeks

October – 14 weeks

November – 16 weeks

December – 18 weeks

Days of the month:

1 – Skittles

2 – Starburst

3 – Kit-Kat

4 – M&M’s

5 – Galaxy

6 – Crunchie

7 – Dairy Milk

8 – Lollipop

9 – Peanut Butter Cups

10 – Meat Balls

11 – Twizzlers

12 – Bubble Gum

13 – Hershey’s Kisses

14 – Chocolate Mints

15 – Twix

16 – Resse’s Fastbreak

17 – Fudge

18 – Cherry Jello

19 – Milkyway

20 – Pickels

21 – Creme Eggs

22 – Skittles

23 – Gummy Bears

24 – Gummy Worms

25 – Strawberry Pop Tarts

26 – Starburst

27 – Mini Eggs

28 – Kit – Kat Chunkie

29 – Double Chocolate Chip Chrunchy Cookies

30 – Smarties

31 – Chocolate Cake

So this is an unfunny private joke having nothing whatsoever to do with breast cancer in the first place and which is shared only by those who received the email, who are then banned from telling men what the ‘joke’ is actually about.

Where exactly does the ‘raising awareness’ bit fit in again? And what’s with the random misandry? Men can and do get breast cancer too, you clueless, immature bints! Not to mention the sheer devastation of seeing your partner suffer from it (or worse). But no, let’s pretend we’re twelve and just exclude the boys from our little games because it makes us feel so cool.

Internet cliques and playground behaviour in adults who should know better. Yuk.