Paedophilia, incest and bestiality. Happy New Year!
Geography lesson, huh?
Why can’t people READ?
I’m talking about the idiots who take medication (or give it to their kids!) without bothering to look at the box, let alone read the instructions:
It says ALL OVER THE BOX that co-codamol contains paracetamol. She took it for six months without ever noticing!
The pharmacist was of course wrong wrong wrong but still. EYE. EAR. TWO DIFFERENT WORDS.
I feel so tired… so tired…
Food as punishment
I was just browsing a forum and came across a post which made my head spin: an American woman was complaining that her friend’s fruit salad was unpalatable as it had too much mayonnaise in it.
Mayonnaise. In fruit salad. Mayonnaise.
I read the post four times, thinking my eyes were deceiving me. Then I reminded myself that American taste buds are slightly different from European ones, to say the least. So I did a bit of research and found this recipe which appears to be totally genuine.
Celery, pineapple, walnuts, tinned tuna, grapes, salad, apples, mayonnaise/salad dressing and dates stuffed with peanut butter. Serve with hot soup and rolls.
It sounds absolutely horrendous to me. Just because you happen to have all these things in your pantry does not mean they belong together!
Still, it’s nowhere near as bad as Elvis Presley’s “Fool’s Gold” sandwich:
1. Coat a loaf of Italian bread in butter.
2. Bake it.
3. Hollow out the loaf.
4. Fill it with an entire jar of smooth peanut butter and an entire jar of jam.
5. Finally, stuff it with a pound of crispy bacon.
Serves 8-10 (or one Elvis).
For once I don’t solely blame the driver
Just watch that video. The biker was going at 97mph on a 60 road! He didn’t even see the car until it was too late (and shrieked), no wonder the car didn’t see him either.
Maybe the driver just didn’t look (after all he did lose his licence) but “Think Bike” is neither here nor there in this situation. People just do not have the eyesight of a peregrine falcon and a speeding car would likely have crashed into him too.
I watched the video several times, and even knowing what’s coming I cannot see the car until the very last second – and a car is much bigger than a motorbike. Even without looking, the car would have had plenty of time to turn if the biker had been following the speed limit.
The biker should have slowed down when approaching a junction too, but I suppose that was too much to ask.
And all his mother can say to excuse his behaviour is “He loved speed”?! Please, he was 38, not 18. Come on.
She even says “I just hope that somebody benefits from it, that motorists slow down” and sadly the irony of it just totally passes her by. Also, what happens if motorists love speed too?
We own the New York skyline, bitch.
So says the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey. Apparently any depiction of said skyline could “evoke thoughts of the Port Authority, the twin towers, W.T.C. and the September 11th terrorist attacks.”
And we really don’t want that to happen, do we, boys and girls? Clearly, all that though-evoking can only be a bad thing. It’s not at all insane to think that way. Nope.
No. No. Nonononono. No. I said NO!
Alas, even denial cannot keep my eyes from bleeding.
Gypsies vs. Gays: a very DM dilemma
Oh dear, poor DM. What can you do when you have to report on a story where both parties are people you loathe?
Unfit biological parents have the sheer nerve to complain about adoptive family
Out of curiosity, I typed “gypsies” into the DM search engine and got 134 results; they’re obviously not afraid of using the word. And yet this particular gypsy family is only described as “Catholic”; you will notice that nowhere in this article are they referred to as gypsies, only Roma. How unusually respectful for the DM; I wonder why…
Oh wait. Could it be that the gypsies are up against a gay couple, the DM’s other bête noire? So the gypsies get given a varnish of Christian respectability (or so the DM thinks) because hey, they may be terrible parents and probably thieves, but at least they’re not filthy sodomites!
Thank the Lord for small mercies and all that.
What bloody language?
Victoria Coren Mitchell, annoying leftie extraordinaire, won a poker tournament on Easter Sunday. She immediately took to Twitter, as you do:
Then for some reason she panicked and posted this:
“Sorry for that language on Easter Sunday”? What is the nitwit on about? Does she apologise to Muslims and Jews every time she has a bacon sandwich? Unlikely.
So what is the meaning of this random attempt at political correctness? If she cares so much about not antagonising Christians, how about not boasting about gambling on Easter Sunday in the first place! Frankly, mild swearing should be the least of her worries. But that’s the problem with the professionally right on: engaging the brain is usually a last resort.
Also, ‘bloody’ is hardly offensive these days. If Ron Weasley can say it approximately one million times in the Harry Potter series, Victoria probably will not burn in hell just yet.
I think I speak for everyone when I say “Huh?”
The other day we received a Christmas card addressed to the previous owners. We moved into this house in April 2008.
I just don’t understand why these people bothered to send a card if they know so little about the would-be recipients. They even got the house number wrong!
But never mind, let’s turn back to the really important things in life:
